“Who says you have to clear the air?”

I was so pissed off. At myself, because my friend was right.

Last week, I was driving with a friend to a gathering on the other side of Toronto. Although it’s only 40km/25mi, it takes about an hour to drive. Plenty of time to chat.

As I drove, I asked my friend – feeling uncertain with my relationship towards another friend – his opinion. “How should I handle my estranged friendship?”

Providing him context – it’s an old friendship, with someone I’m both proud of, and annoyed with. I felt unsure how to proceed with this other friendship, and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to. I felt I had a point to prove, and a part of me was seeking closure on a previous altercation.

“I want to clear the air with them,” I told my friend.

“Why do you need to clear the air?” he replied. “Why do you really need to discuss the past, when you say you’re not letting it get to you?”

I thought about it as I drove down the QEW (Queen Elizabeth Way), the main highway into downtown Toronto. He was right. Why do I need to clear the air? I had no point to prove. I needed no closure. I only wanted closure for the sake of my ego. To prove I was right.

“Right about what though?” he asked. Fuck. He was right. I wanted to show my success in her face – nothing more than an ego trip. I didn’t need closure, I was only seeking a way to say “look at what you missed out on!”

I mulled the feedback he gave me. I don’t need closure. In fact, I didn’t even feel the need of their friendship. We’d simply grown apart. It’s life – and as one is nudging towards their late 20’s, growing apart is natural.

As I sat on this for the last week, I’ve come to realise a few points:

• Seeking closure comes from an ego play. Deep down, we almost always know why people act the way they do. Even if we don’t receive verbal confirmation, we already know why. It’s intuitive.

• Sometimes seeking or receiving closure is more painful and wasteful than simply letting it go.

• The best closure is letting it go. That way, it holds no power over you.

So let this shine through to you, as it did for me. Do not waste energy on holding grudges, memories or past experiences – just let them go. The best closure you’ll ever find will come from within you.

Hellhound On His Trail: The Electrifying Account of the Largest Manhunt In American History

It’s the bizarre and relatively unknown story following the manhunt of the man who assassinated Martin Luther King Jr. I read this in two days. I strongly recommend if you want to escape into some history, with an intriguing storyline. Oh, and it’s all factual.

Josh’s Picks

• I’m obsessed with researching brands. Every so often, I do a deep dive on a new company I’ve found. This week it’s MomCozy. They’re wearable breast pumps. And this model made $2.6m on Amazon last month alone.

  • Seriously makes you think – your company probably can be 10x bigger if you have the right marketing angle.

• Currently have this playlist on repeat. Don’t judge by the title. Perfect mix of calm, soothing music to vibe whilst working.

• Having gone hard carnivore again, Eddie Abbew’s content came into my feed. I love his blunt, no BS approach. Check him out if carnivore is remotely interesting to you.